Tell me how to heal this. I don’t ever want to feel this again. What do I have to do to keep this from happening again? These are typical client statements.
They want a magic answer. Make it go away and do it quickly.
I remember wanting the same thing. I pleaded with my therapist/healer (she was both a therapist and a trained energy healer) to tell me what was wrong with me. If I knew what was wrong, I could fix it. Her wise response, “I’m not going to tell you what is wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you.”
And there is nothing wrong with you. You may have developed habits and patterns of existing in the world that deaden you or have you sacrificing yourself. Or maybe these patterns keep people away or keep you stuck. But, the unchanging you that exists within your personality is perfect.
I know I wanted an answer. Then, I could fix myself and move on with my life. Simple and easy with no messiness.
I pursued the quick fix. If a modality sounded easy and promised instant results, it was for me. Briefly, I felt better. But, I wasn’t experiencing lasting change. The quick fix was like putting a band-aid on a wound. I couldn’t see it anymore, but it was still under there unhealed.
I wanted to magically change without fully committing to the process. I was under the illusion that if I was fully healed, then life would no longer get to me. I could bypass troubles and heartache. I could escape being affected by reality.
I made peace with my limitations and the life I had created. It wasn’t a quick fix. It was a deep, satisfying process that created lasting change. I built inner resources to meet the obstacles and tragedies that are a natural part of living. My humanity balanced with my spirituality. Now, I walk in two worlds.
Travelling deep into the unknown territory of your psyche takes courage, commitment and time. You’ve built inner walls to keep you safe. Safe from your fears, needs and longings. If your ego believes that wall is keeping you alive and safe, it’s not going to come down with a quick fix.
You need to feel safe and that may take time. You need to trust and feel supported without judgement. You need to believe that you can handle whatever emotions, memories or images arise. This is often what keeps us away from our inner self. Our fear about what we may discover. We’re afraid to know ourselves.
Deep transformation is a process, not a quick fix. It’s the only way I work with clients and with my own ongoing healing process. What stays unknown will run your life from beneath your awareness. Wouldn’t you rather be in the driver’s seat?