Being an Empath or Highly Sensitive Person does not mean you are weak, a psychic sponge or ungrounded. The two do not go hand in hand. One can be sensitive and grounded. One can be an empath and not be knocked over by other people’s energies or feelings.
Women ask me how they can protect themselves. If you are spending your time protecting yourself, then you are either living in an evil cult or more likely, living in fear.
The more you protect yourself, the more you will believe you will need protection and the more afraid you will become.
One of my early teachers told me that she believed calling in protection was like turning on a spotlight which attracted the things you were trying to avoid.
You can bubble yourself in different lights of protection, or wear repelling crystals and stones, and that will help. But, it isn’t affecting the root cause. It isn’t shifting what is held deeply inside of you that is allowing outside energy to invade you.
For the record, I’m not discounting techniques. When I am preparing sacred space for a session, I call in protection and guidance. But, it is not fear based. It is ritual based. There will be energies the client picked up that I don’t want sticking to me. Afterwards, I will smudge myself and the room.
But, I do not protect myself in daily life.
You can be aware and feel other people’s emotions without being affected by it. And this is a process, not a technique.
It is a process to become embodied and grounded.
Back when I was training to be an energy healer, I was knocked on my ass a lot. The program I was enrolled in was probably the most intense training ground out there. For 4 years, we were in an energetic template that was designed to make us self-aware and a clear channel for energy to pour through to our clients.
Upon going to bed at night, with closed eyes I would see one person after another. It was hard to sleep with so much activity. I would use a technique to close my third eye (or mind screen). Sometimes it worked. Other times, it didn’t.
I asked one of my teachers about this phenomena and his response was “You don’t have a sense of self.”
That floored me. What did he mean by that? I was offended. How can someone not have a sense of self? I didn’t even understand what he was talking about.
Over time, it made sense. I did not have a strong sense of self or clear boundaries.
My focus was on the other – pleasing the other, being kind to the other and putting the other’s needs first. I knew more about the other than I did myself.
You probably believe that this is how a good person is supposed to be. I know I did.
But, you end up abandoning yourself. When you have abandoned yourself for many years, there is no way you could have a strong sense of self.
How can you develop a strong sense of self and clear, healthy boundaries in relationship?
My path to becoming a high-functioning empath was not remedied by a quick fix technique. If I had only resorted to protecting my energy, I would have never dived into the fears that kept me from developing healthy boundaries and a strong sense of who I am.
The key is to learn how to be sensitive and embodied and grounded. You need to learn how to bring the full power of who you are into the world and be able to stand in that power.
It is a process of getting to know yourself intimately. It is a process of becoming very curious about how you diminish your energy and reject yourself in relationship with others.
Begin by reflecting on this question…Why is it ok for others to invade my energy?
You do not have to protect yourself. You need to reclaim your Self, one piece at a time.